So like my self Planet Talks is growing, Planet Talks for a lack of better words is the place I post all things I am doing, like moving and school, to projects like The Poe Show( and others stay tuned for exciting news!) performances, ( I preformed at the Iliac and a friends comedy show, he lied and said there was “other acts” I was the only “other” but it went well, was super nervous at first but I took a moment and just powered through.) To articles and interviews I do. I thought Id just clear up what Planets talks was all about for you and me, also new business cards!
I have been writing a lot of poetry. Its been interesting since I have mostly written about moments in time or experiences with a twist on them, now I find my self writing about feelings, My first one is My name is Experience,
My name is experience
I have bruises and scars from my past like tattoos,
Permeant and colorful telling my story.
On my chest a heart shaped bruise,
From the boy who still loved another,
Ten months in.
Scars on my chin and jaw from surgery,
And a lost man who did not know what he wanted,
Thoughts of him still make my jaw ache.
I have a hole in my soul,
That she made when she left.
I no more understood her than she me.
Love to her was a self centered thing.
She birthed me, I owed her, by default loved her,
Funny, I thought it was the other way around.
Love is the hardest lesson to learn,
Love is everything you see,
A broken dichotomy of emotions to tainted by pain to be any where relevant
I hated you,
I loved you,
I even prayed for you, (something I hate more then you because then I am on my knees)
You did not own me I am an independent state that at anytime will revolt,
I am so tired of your games,
I am constantly doubting my self,
Like in the aftermath of Pandora’s box, was it good or was it bad, no one knows.
Anger is a rough raw mistress,
She likes to fester
Sometimes I feel like I could crush mountains with my bare hands
Cry seas into existence,
The sheer force and breath of my screams creating its own wind,
A tornado of emotion so intense that you feel finally nothing at all.
I feel nothing at all.
I don’t care anymore, but I will be noble
I would rather go down for being honorable then petty
Playing into her complex, such a tricky thing to get out of,
And yeah I am still angry,
I have imagined a thousand one ways to kill this pain, a million ways to hurt her as she did me, but I would not wish this even on my worst enemy.
She betrayed my soul.
And I have been told to put her to rest, begun to dig her grave only to find out that it was mine,
I can’t hold on to her anymore,
And no I don’t want to contact her, I want nothing to do with her,
But I wish her all the best, as a human being to another human being
Despite our blood connection.
For I must be grateful that my mother taught me one of the most gruesome lessons,
To love and to not be loved in return.
This next one was part longing part I know it is the end
I am worried
Longing is like an elastic band around your heart,
It gets wet then dry’s around your artery’s,
The only way is to cut it out.
And I want you in all senses of the word,
But want and need are two different things and I don’t need you right now.
You are sick, tired and brunt out like the darkness I found my self in when we first met,
I know time heals all wounds, but we have so little time before all this ends,
And I know we will meet again, embrace again, love again.
But in the mean time I will take to bleeding inwardly,
a knife didn’t work I had to dig it out with scissors.
I am worried,
By the infrequencies of our text messages and the post card that I sent you that keeps being returned to me.
These next three were done after a day of ease and fun, I wrote them at a Monday night writing evening at Art House Cafe, Its known as The Dojo, a free event and free flowing place, we write for about 20 then share if one wishes,.It is Hosted by my buddy Tzu, and it was really fun. It is on Monday nights from 5 to 8. The first one was less an emotion but a feeling in a soft moment. The second after an experience, the third, feeling overwhelmed yet underwhelmed at my progress with moving and such, but I am doing everything I can but also one thing at a time, just having fun .
I need a moment,
It involves you,
And hour, maybe two,
Or too cold,
Just time to chill,
Not too much thought,
Or space between us,
Stop the clock
Take a breath,
And step into my bedroom.
Lift me up,
Like I am made of glass,
But strong like steel,
Only diamond can cut.
I like it rough.
You’ve been come calm under my touch.
Distant but not.
Keep in touch.
I am not lost,
Merely between your legs and the bed.
I have no plan,
Only an idea,
Days start with the best intentions.
I have to go back,
Crunch the numbers,
Take up so much time.
I don’t want to be alone tonight.
Reality is a dominating mistress,
Constantly at my back,
No pleasure in her kisses.
Adventure always leaves me high
Sometimes you have to let the bullets fly,
Sometimes adventure dies,
But curiosity made sure Schroders cat survived.
For Planet Talks this is D